Santa Claus, for Christmas I want a baby....

I' m not sure, but i' m feeling a bit different than other months!

Am I pregnant? Since yesterday that I am weard ..... I have much cold and heat sweats, today I fainted on the bath because of the hot water…. my blood pressure dops drastically!

I was lucky becouse my husbund is on vacation too… otherwise I do not know ....... It doesn't happen to me!

 As the delay is not significant yet, we're going to wait for the next week .....

A thing is thuth: the ovulation test gave positive and work hardly on these days ....... It was so good starting 2007 with a good notice!

The Christmas's gone.....

Therefore that's it friends, as I more or less forecast, the good one of my husband talking to my mother, offered ours home for all family to dinner!

My mother made almost everything (I made the codfish baked with baked potatoes, made a eggs's pudding and 2 cakes). There I had all the family in home ..... here finally reached to join all the brothers, brothers-in-law and nephews, exactly the ones that live in Amarante, Braga, England or Holland, this becouse in the previous years always missing somebody .....

To finished for being pleasant, my daddy made 70 years old ..... was emotioned with the speech of my yuong brother, but he was funny! Now, worse it was for me…. yesterday, all the day,  I dragged me of the room for sofa for the computer, but I did not make nothing!!

Only did the dishwashing on machine!!!

 Today, I had to clean all the house and I'm exahaust!

But now it is time to think about the end of the year, therefore they come our friends here to pass the year with us becouse from my room we can see the fire of all that zone  including the Nations Park!

Mr Red din't came yet…. I wait that it doesn't appear in the end of the year's night!

Kisses

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERY ONE!

As I'll haven't time to affix on one of yours blogs, I use to advantage to wish to all () a HAPPY CHRISTMAS to you, full of good things!

God bless you all!!!

MARY CHRISTMAS

Since monday  I am on vacations ..... Until day the January 3rd, 2007, nothing to think about work! I was need so much…. already slepped a bit, now I have to do tings (it is always the same thing, the first days of vacation are always for cleannesses and so ane) but I am already I here to finish! Tomorrow I'm going to shopping, that's it!

I have here Diogo and Ticha, my nephews, 12 and 8 years old respectively, that they always want loveof the aunt and are here until day 25th.

After all always I go to make the tree, therefore already I have children here "borow me" to help me to decorate it and to cheer my house!

MARU CHRISTMAS FOR ALL AND THAT HOPE ST CLAUS BRING IN HIS BAG OURS WANTED SONS!

Christmas day!

The sadness won me .....

Suddenly an incredible sadness won me ..... everything lost the direction! To decorate the christmas tree for who? I do not have the children that I wanted to have in return of it! .....

It only gave work…. No…. already decided…. I do not go to lose time with this…

I'm on vacation since monday…. I have to make a big cleanning here at home here, therefore in day-by-day only I have time for the indispensable.

As last I have worked all the weekends, the house is to start to be an chaos…. the clothes to iron are in a big mount!

Decidedly from January, I have to provide a cleaning-woman for helping me .....

I dont' want to comemorate nothing…. but I have reasons for this, therefore, it goes to be  one more Christmas …. For next year it has more .....

Today it's our wedding anniversary!!!!

18 years ago on the same hour, we were on the church to join our lives for the love that we feel one for the other. It seems that it was yesterday .....

was one of the happyest days of my life, therefore I materialize a dream: I married with" C" , the love of my life, that I had known 4 years before.

Therefore he had already " booked me" so much time ago! He was here in the army in Alverca and I studied in the secondary school.

As I had to wait much time for the train to go for home, me and a friend were in the train line to make the bolt and to see who walked more time in the crosspieces wooden, with the hands, that is, upside-down!

lololololol

It, put itself with me but I nor bound the minim! We accidentally met in a train trip and there yes, I repaired in that one cute armied boy (a Greek God) that did not take off the eyes of me ..... starting talking with me, becouse till my name he known!

From there until we dating such was one week .....! We are happy ..... Now it lacks to materialize our dream, love: our son!

Laziness!

I just feel lik that!!!

I have a lot of things to do and  .....  I just want to come back home and to return to bad with my Hubby. But…. other values  raises ......

Today I awoke at 05:30 to come to work more early, becouse I have a very important meeting with my friends from the APF forum!

Still I am here to lazing myself and wondering: How do I awake so early? My C. husband says that I only arise myself so early to go the beach…. yes, becouse I like to go to the beach at seven o'cloock on the morning and to come back to the half day toward house! Already I am here since the 06:00 to look at for the computer and it to look at for me…. we go to see who takes the best..... lolololol

Aniversário de casamento!

It is almost to arrive the day…. do you remembered honey?
December 9th, 1988! 18 years of married, babe ......... the time flies ...... and our stork, nothing!

18 years of you, love, more 4 for dating!  ..... It's a life!!!!!
 ..... lolololol

You are good for I for changing you for 2 boys of 22 years old ...... lololololol

CONGRATULATIONS for us and many HAPPINESSES ....... that others live as much.

How God blesses our love with so desired baby!

love weekend

I hear to say that this is the weekend of the love ..... Care, my darlings, so that the neighbors do not call the firemen!

Broke Shields and the infertility

This weekend, I saw the Brooke's biography in the Biography Channel. I liked!

This simple and very pretty girl, that proved that beauty is not alone, there has intelligence therefore was formed in Princeton with shining notes!

Like us, also she fought against infertilifade and she had already 2 babyes girls, ...... The firsr pregnancy she reach on the seventh attempt of  FIV.

And like as, so much with so much treatments, she was victim of " hormones" had a depression after-childbirth or baby blues.

But she return the things and now she's happy!

BRAVE GIRL!!!

The shame it that nor all of us has money for so much treatments!

Another airplane.....new routine!

Good morning!

Another airplane ...... new routine, but I happy, becouse I really love my job! As my nephew Diogo says, I am a lucky woman becouse I'm working in aviation and they still pay me in the end of the month!!!

On the weekend I took the girls to the  chocolate's Festival on Saturday morning, it was so funny and sunday was day off! Now I here am, of renewed energies ..... now is time to roll up sleeves and to catch in the work!

on duty

I am on duty ......

I have to wait that everything runs well, and the airplane goes even so still today, only after this I can go for home! (The good part, is that tomorrow I can come later…. )

Any of those days, my husbund will asks for divorce ...... lololol  .....

He already complains on the phone!

Take it easy ......honeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy, I'm already going ......... meanwhile make the dinner becouse your wife is very hunger!!!!!

Tip

Hi

it is a tip here:

For who doesn't have  messenger in the work computer, can accede through this address:

http://webmessenger.msn.com/default.aspx?R=1

; -)

I've learned with my nephews .....

lololol

(the kids are one step forward)

Mr Red - again

I thought that I had been of this time, but ...... the Mr Red come to visit me again!

I am disappointed!!!

After all hard work, putting the ass inside of the pillow and the legs on! Only my husban is so happy with to much sex!

But for this HAPPINESS be complete, it lacks the so wanted baby ......... WHERE ARE YOU SON?

Did the stork  had lost you?

One more week!

One more week that starts .......

Last night, I thought I was a stroke, it was  3 of the morning, because of the thunderstorm! How scare! lolololol.....

As the mondays are so hard? Don't you feel?
It seems that never more end.
Am I alone or do you feel the same?

Working holiday!

One holiday more and I'm working. But I am happy!

It seems that the things start to engage ..... wait that they still, or then improve…. lololol

 I ask for to excuses to everyone who have left always an affection message and appraise here in blog, but I haven't had time to answer you. From now I go to be more present, ok?

 Well, I go becouse it's already 18:00 and a woman is not of steel, right? I have many thing to make at home, but I'm so lazi!!

I'll take a bath and see some movies wint my husund....

I have the WTC and the Code Of the Vinci to see there ......

Well, see you

Ciao, bambinas!

Back to my hangar

Finally I came back my section ..... now already I can use a keyboard a little more ..... lolol

Even though I am with very busy, but when we are in better mood and glad, we can do everything, doesn't you agree?

My father-in-law is already at home, is better and this contributes to my mood!

Tomorrow here is holiday… but a good notice to cheer the spirit to me, although I to have to come to work, but no bad, it's more money in the end of the month!

changes

Therefore it is….

When there isn't Legacy's  to repairI have to go to the civilian hangar and unhappyly now I'll not going to have as many chances to go to internet . It had some remodellings here and now my secretary is in an ungrateful position: all the people that enter in the room sees what I am doing!

; - (

However already I ordered to make a up-grat to my house's PC!

Today, I used the advantage of my lunch time and as nobody is here ..... lololol

For who didn't know, I've got a big cold and stayied home for 3 days….  but I'm better now!

Challenge

Also I going to do the challenge, at least I free a little the head! Then, we go to this:
Eyes? Chestnuts (of so great enchantments…. lolol).

Hair? Black color

Height? 1,70 m.

Weight? Ok, ok…. i'm a litle above of mine 64 kgs! But what you want? With as much hormonas that I taked, does not have line that resists! But it is for a good cause…. Funny becouse when I started the treatments, the people had soon started to say: there you to get fat very! But I never was bothered, therefore it was for a good cause! Worse she is that she was for a cause not reached .....not yet!

Ancestry? Portuguese, German, Indian and Moçambicana…. Can you imagine? …. ; -)

Sign? taurus.

Shoes that are to use? Boots.

Weakness? I am very emotional person, on the other hand it is good therefore the people can understand me through my eyes but for times he is bad ...... very bad!

Fear? Of thunderstorms.

Targe that would like to reach? She is necessary to say?

Phrase that more use in the MSN? Olha mésta!

Better part of the body? According to my husband: EVERYTHING….lolol….the serious one: mouth, eyes, hands, feet, breasts .......

Pepsi or Cola? Coca if it have to, but i'd rather prefere water.

MacDonald´s or Bob´s? MacDonald' s.

Coffee or capuccino? Capuccino, but now I found the Vienna, is AMASING.

It smokes? Not, I am  anti-tobacco.

Uggly words? Of those cabeludos same? Nor therefore, it is more type, pôxa, and merd* when already I am to pass.

Perfume? Annais Annais.

It sings? Almost always.

It takes bath every day? No, Only when it's rains ..... lolol ..... But that kind of question?

It liked the school? Yap…. old times ..... beautiful days!

It believes itself exactly? I believe me very, otherwise I would be lost.

It has setting with health? The normal one.

Of - well with its parents? Yes, like of my father, but I adore my mother.

It likes storms? Like to see rainning, will be in house with my C, but I have fear of thunderstorms!

In the last month… It drank alcohol? Nop

It smoked? Nop

It used drugs? Benuron 600 for terrible menstrual pains .....

It made purchases? Clearly, it's always necessary a girl to go to supermarket, isn't it?

It ate an entire package of big cookies? If to add all is well capable!

It ate sushi? I never proved… but still I go to try!

It cried? I cried a river almost ........

It made biscuits caretakers? Yes, my nephews had passed some weekends with me and I have to please childrean.

painted the hair? Not

stole? Not….I only was with the currencies that were in the pants of it to wash…. but my husnbund knows that what is in the pockets is mine…. lolol

Number of children? 10 eheheheh….He is the serious one? None….if probably never we would have crossed in them!

How you want to die? Nor I think about this ...... but I know there, to sleep, when I was very old and with an enormous family!

Piercings? Not.

Tattooings? Not.

How many times your name appeared in periodicals? Some times, whenever it leaves a new film ...... eheheheheheh

Scars in the body? 2 - one in the hand and another one in a foot (you damage of infancy)

Of what you regret yourself to have done? Not to have thought about having children as soon as I was married…. therefore it would have attacked the infertility in a equal fight, becouse now I feel that the time is my enemy!

Favourite color? Green

Which disciplines it favourite person or thing in the school? Biology, the Nature fascinated me always.

A place where never was and would like to be? Venice (I'll go in 2009)

Matutina or nocturna? More or less, I try to balance: matutina during the week and nocturna to the weekend (since that it does not have to go to work).

What you have in the pocket? Chunks of the lunch.

In 10 years, it is imagined…. With a family of at least 3 kids, to live in a house and much HAPPY.

Ready and, did not cost very! Now step to the next one .....

Is it??

The Mr Red must already have appeared!

I have been nauseated, but this already happened to me before, due to stress, doubts much that is, although we have trained in the ovulation days!

The truth is that all this history of my interned father-in-law, the death of my sister-in-law, the difficulties and problems that we have passed thru, excited me, and as already in 2002 happened to me, (when my father was sic) I arrive to doubt ...... In spite of, yesterday I made a test and gave negative, but the test had expired in august, therefore….

 We're going to wait plus some days and later soon it will be seen! I do not want to feed false hopes becouse later I can be very disapointed, but although in that bad times, one baby now would be the cherry on the cake!

Even if I have to take off of my mouth to feed him, I didn't mind a thing, as now I'm a litlle fat,  so please God, makes with that cames truth!

Please!

What's up?

I do not know what's happened, but since 2 days  I can't accede to APF forum!!!! It doesn't work? Do you?

I need to buy another computer....bah!!!!!

My father-in-law's heathy

He still be interned in the Hospital of St Jose, becouse he did not want to stays in Vila Frande de Xira's hospital. The Hospital of VFXira brings him bad memories: it was that my mother-in-law died. It says that to go to VFXira,  it's better we take him for the cemetary!

He have luck with the doctor whom accepted to receive it in S. Jose. The state of his health stills bad and inspires cares. He's the serum due the weakness and the great anemia with that he was.

We still do not know nothing of the kidneys nor of the prostate cancer (if it evolved and if it is this that is to afectar the kidneys to it). We still waiting for more examinations.

Yesterday I was to my doctor the Lisbon and of afternoon I stay to cleaning my home (kitchen and wc' s), but in the holiday I worked and today and tomorrow to! Blessed overwork that in good time arrived in order to save money!

I'm going to leave at 16:15 to go to the hospital to visit my father-in-law!!!!

Bad times.....

The situation is very complicated!

I have much fear of what it can  happens .......

3 deaths at same house in a short period it's excessively!

I know that we are born and that one day all we are going to die, but why to die all of followed in one same family? First the mother, 10 months later the youngest daughter and now, according to doctors, it's better to be prepared for the worse ....

 God has mercy of us .......

One more affliction!

Today we woke up with the phone  ringing at 05:00 ...... my father-in-law fell down in the WC! There goes my husband with the father in ambulance to the Hospital, now there are 13:00 and the old dad still is in observation ...... this has not been far from easy!

If for we have been difficult, we imagine for him that in 10 months he lost the wife and the litlle daughter ...... from his wife death, he reacted, but  the death of his daughter he dropped donw. It seems that he give up of living, already he does nott want to work (although to be pensioner of the public office, he worked in the Securitas). He asked for us to deal with the other retirement and spending the days threaded in the bed!

Nor to eat the on the table with us,  it wants! All we tried to raise his moral ..... does not eating, only question that what badly he made to God ...... He's very thin and as he is weak, he is get colds with much frequency and many infections!

I wait that it improves, therefore my husband and the oldest sister did not go to support to lose the father to soon, therefore, dad,  eat in order to recover, ok? For your son, daugther and your grandsons!

Stand by.....

Nothing better than a working weekend, to not think in our problems!

Although it's hard to me, here I am working as a dog ..... here the staff are always to bombing me with orders and more things that I'm very busy, and no time to think!

I had lunch with them, they're amused, and a drunk a glass of white wine putted me on the clouds...lololol

But at home the clothes to iron waits for me, and all the cleaning and so one .....

As my brother-in-law Caty sad to me,  sunday had to be day to go the mass and to dedicate to Lord, but I believe that It was who, knowing of my difficulties, put this weekend of work and the next ones that I have incomings, in my way, in order to save money for FIV.

Amén!

Sheet!!!!

What will go more to happen to us?

Yesterday my husband told me that we don't going to be able to make FIV in Fev2007 as it was forecast due to many!
6000€!!! We can't afford it!

The life isn't going that way he planed and the it missing work, sheet, sheet .....  This to add to a series of less good things that they have happened in them last, left me destroced!

I was preparing a special weekend for us, and now I have to come to work (the least one of us earns some money .....).

 It seems that somebody supplicated a plague ,therefore the bad events has been in one by one!
 I'm distroced!!!!

Have a nice weekend becouse mine it goes to be to work!

"My airplane"

Another weekend passed, the time starts to be rainy, proper for the time of the year ..... and the mood starts to be as the time…. lolol

I'm very busy at work but now it's obliged to get a eye to my favorite site APF!!!!

I'm in charge of that king of airplane EMBRAER LEGACY, since they promoved me for a civilian aviation(I used to work with military ones, C130, P3) and I enjoy it very much!!!!

I'm so sad about what happened with Susana Pina!

God, I do not know where are You in these hours!
I'm so sad and chocked with what happened with Susana ...... 16 years of fight, as much pain, as much suffering and when she thought that she had reached her girls ...... she lost them at 23 weeks pregnancy!

Unfare, very unfare, this life!

I'm still saying that I'll never understand this: so many woman  give birth childs and childs and give them bed treatments to those children and us that want so such a baby!

What world this!!! ......

I'm with very busy, and I passed for some bad things this week ..... I was one very complicated week ......, but can hundle! I wait that the weekend arrives fast to rest a little and to recharge batteries for the next one that seems to be full!

Nice weekend for all and (if that it's possible) and if someone speek to Susana, tell her I'm sendig a Very big hug full of love!

He will be that God knows what makes? Sometimes I doubt, but we only will see as time goes by .....

September 19th , day to laugh or to cry???

Today, it's September 19th, 2006….

25 years ago,  my old sister was married!!!
Whem they we're dating, my mom send all the times with them, to guard my sister - if it was possible - and my future brother-in-law used to buy me ice creams and sending me for the park!!

Smart guy!!!!

As we had so much complicity they promissed me that I would be the Godmother of their first child Paula, my older niece and my pricess!!

I adore my goddaughter, she was my ring's girl on my marriage .... if God want she'll be the godmother of my first child too!!!

 9 years ago, was born my Leticia niece… Ticha, for the family…. she doen't stop quiet! Only seen!

Last year, unhappyly we woke up at 06:00 of the morning with the telephone ringing ..... was Caty my brother-in-law crying..... my mother-in-law had died suddendly with a cardiac attack!

Rest in peace!

Therefore, I don't know if I'm happy or if I cry!!!!!

Monday morning....urggggg

Plus a weekend passed, plus a monday ......... I was not able to go to have tee with the girls on Saturday, therefore I had unexpected visits for the lunch ..... but, not bad after all, therefore I did not seen them for years......

Sunday was day to go to lunch with the family therefore it was the  nephew Ivo birthday - 12 years old  (he thought that already he is a man, imagine), until he auto-intitles himself" metrossexual" ….there…

 there, brother, the problems that you'll going to have with your youngling! Yes becouse he already delay mounts of time to prepare himself….I could say it, I saw in the last vacations!

I finished for being with a terrible migraine, but in the end of the night found what it was: the blood pressure was high with the cooked ones of my sister-in-law which I couldn't resist!
She abused of the salt.
I took a diuretic and the thing already came back to the normal!

Today i's monday, working day .....,  what difficult it is!!!! 

The litlles ones!

How cute they are, dont't they????

Tee in Vasco da Gama shopping center

I am not in better mood , but the APF's girls had insisted as much that today, when I leave the work, I'm  going to buy a blue lace and there I tomorrow I'm going to have a tee with them!

I need to laugh a litlle!!!!!

I need to talk.....

I thought that after crying years and years, I was strong enough and  nothing related with infertility could make me  to fall down ....... pure deceit!

Soon of the morning, when I arrived at work, as it was early, i opened the APF site and I found  the testemonys of our friends of struggled and scratch! More I read, more tears rolled in my face....... it's amasing! The Stardust, the Susana, the Manuela and the Susana Portela had to say for words everything what I was felt and still feel ..... the difference is that they already had reached its pregnancies and I'm still in my struggled ..... and follow asking: UNTIL WHEN?

Sincerely, it wasn't the place nor the hour for all this crying, but I couldn't stop myself ...... incredible as all of us feel in the same way!

When my boss arrived, he didn't understand nothing, still mumbled something as it better I go home to rest, but in that wy, I would nevercome to work….
I went to WC, wash my face and here I am now to relieve!

I try to grasp me the hope of the adoption, but I'm still without understanding the reason! I think that it is more easy when is known that endometriosis is had, obstructed tubes or if it has something in concret to roll up sleeves and to fight against, now UNEXPLAIND INFERTILITY? somebody can understand? Some of you that has been diagnosised this type of infertility can to understand the reason? I sincerely can't!

Yupiiiiiiiiii ...... for shaving!!!

For relax!!!

lololololololol

He's very happy!!!

visits!

Today of morning I had visits ...... here it is the Mr Red! (Period)

It had to be same of stress, therefore I am like a British clock. In 2oo2 I passed for this! But soon, for the next month we'll have more intensive work in the ovulation period…. lol

Thans for the concern.

Today I'm not in a better mood.....

.... or better, I am tired, I want to sleep .....

I had a weekend and one day more off with my nephews in my house and as you can imagine….it was hard!

In the deep one I don't mind becouse I love them very much and they fulling the house and give me many joys, mainly Diogo that is from the a small village of the North of country. He's very sweety!!!

It's a shame that  he lives between  a "war" of his parents .....


Here I am back to work and I don't have much to do .... only type some boring reports, inventories, etc….

 Also I have to organize an event therefore we're going to have visits from the portuguese government and people from Brazil and Belgium at 15:00 in order to catch more customers!

I used the advantage in my lunch time to see the news in PORTUGUESE INFERTILITY ASSOCIATION's forum, the APF   … and a meeting will have place in Lisbon this saturday.

 Well….I'm going to work, before the visits arrive.

See you!

Hello everybody!

Hi!

I've decided to open this blog to shar with the all the world my situation, my feelings ans my struggled about the infertility!

My name is Jú, I'm 40 years old portuguese woman, i'm married since December 9th, 1988 and trying to be pregnant for sereval years!

After many examinations, where everything was well, doctors diagnosised  us UNPEXPLAINED INFERTILITY, that is, without apparent cause!

The doctor explained that I could easily be pregnant of another man and my husband could easily pregnant another woman, but I had chosse him to  be father of my children, therefore is he who I love, he have the qualities and habilities I would like to see in my children!

The miracle does not happen easily and when it happened, I ended for losing my babys....... now I still saving money for new treatment and hopping that also with us happen “the miracle of life” therefore the hope is the last one to die .....

I apologize about my english, but i'll try to do my best!